The Prophet’s Balanced Family Life

As-salámu ‘alaikum wa rahmatul láhi wa barakátuh!”
“A-úthu billáhi minash shaytánir rajeem. Bismilláhir rahmánir raheem.
Al hamdu lillahi nahmaduhu wanasta’eenahu, wanastagh-firuhu, wanatoobu ilayhi, wana’oothu Billaahi min shuroori an-fusinaa, wamin sayyi aati a’maalinaa. May- Yahdillahu fa huwal muhtad, wa may- yudlill falan tajidaa lahu waliyan murshida. Wa ash-hadu an Laa ilaaha ill-Alláh, wahdahoo laa shareeka lah, wa ash-hadu anna Muhammadan ‘abduhoo warasooluh”

In the name of Allah most merciful, most compassionate

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

Today our topic is the Prophet’s (pbuh) balanced family life.
The prophet is a perfect example for us in every aspect. He is also an example in our family life and as a parent.

Despite being busier than any of us with his community leadership, teaching his companions, dealing with the affairs of the Muslims, meeting leaders of different tribes and his worship, he still found time to visit his wives every day and have talks with them and listen to them.

He also stresses the importance of our duties towards our children.
“If Allah blesses someone with a child and they fulfil their obligations to the child, then the Hellfire won’t touch them.”

Our obligations to our children are their:

  • Physical development – feeding them, clothing them, making sure they are healthy
  • Mental development – teaching them, expanding their mind and thoughts
  • Spiritual development – teaching them to know and love Allah
  • Emotional development – loving them, caring for them, showing affection, playing with them

Children are keen observers and they observe their surroundings. The Prophet said that every child is born with an ability to become close to God, but that their environment might cause them to drift away.

Everything around a child affects their soul. It is the parent’s responsibility to protect the child and choose its environment. Make sure he is not exposed to indecent or immoral things.

When we look at the Prophet’s life we also see how compassionate and loving he was towards children.

He didn’t favour one sex over the other. At a time when the Arabs were burying their daughters alive, he said, “He who has three daughters and raises them according to islam will be with me like this (crossing his fingers) in the afterlife.”

One companion asked “What if we have two daughters?” He replied, “Even if you have two daughters.”

Playing With Children

He would play racing games with the children. Make them race to him and give the first one to reach him dates or fruit or sweets. He would carry them on his shoulder or play horse-back with them. He played hide and seek with children who followed him home from the mosque.

Showing Affection

He would always kiss and stroke the hair of children. One sahabe commented, I have 10 children and I have never kissed one of them” The prophet replied “The one who shows no mercy, will not be shown mercy”

One day He had Hasan on his lap and he kissed him and said “O Allah, I love him dearly, so you love Him and love those who love him.”

During Prayers (Congregational)

He would shorten prayers if a child cried so the mother would not be distressed.
He would let them climb on his back during sajda and wait for them to climb down before getting up.
He would part his legs so that they could crawl through whilst he was standing.

From this we can see that the prophet showed great love and compassion to children. We too are encouraged to show love and compassion to our children.

To conclude, when fulfilling our obligations to our children we must remember to be consistent otherwise we will only confuse them. What we tell them and what we do (practice) must be the same. Therefore we must be an excellent example to them just as the prophet was an excellent example to us.

Alhamdu lillahi Rabbil ‘Aalameen. Was-salaatu was-salaamu alaa Khayril mursaleen. Muhammadin-nabeey-yil Ummiy-yee, wa-‘alaa aalihee, wa sahbihee, aj-ma’een.
Ammaa ba’ad:
Innalláha wa malaaikata yusallúna alan nabi. Yá ay yuhal latheena ámanu sallú alayhi wasalli mú tas leema. Allahumma salli alá Muhammad, wa ala áli Muhammad, kama salayta ala Ibrahim, wa ala ali Ibrahim. Allahumma barik ala Muhammad, wa alaa áli Muhammad, kama barakta ala Ibrahim, wa ala ali ibrahim. Fil ála meen, innaka hameedun majeed.”

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